I first heard of this speech by Teddy Roosevelt from Brene Brown. I have used this explanation often. It has freed me from hearing all kinds of advice or hearing how my pain wasn't valid. If they aren't in my arena and never have been, I take what they say as a grain of salt. I don't put much meaning into it.Let this be your reminder to listen to those who have had similar experiences in their own lives with being in the same situation that you are in. Those who have been or are in the same arena you are in vs those who aren’t and never have been. Don’t take on what someone says that has no understanding of your story or anyway to comprehend it.As I started to share what arena I was in, I was shocked to learn of so many others in the same arena or of those who had been in that arena.What was your experience? Have you found others in the same arena that can support you and you can support them?A friend... (more)

It wouldn't be normal to be ok with the new information. Allow yourself to grieve. Do not rush it. Feel it. Cry it. Scream it (not at anyone, maybe Yahweh but not at someone). Run it. Journal it. Be ok with the grief. Whatever you do, DO NOT stuff it. Let it out. It has to come out at some point, let that be now and not later.
It may be inconvenient right now but how much more convenient will it be later? How have or will you deal with the grief?