Many of you know, I care for my parents. As a matter if fact, I am sitting in the hospital room now.
When families are deciding what level of care is “right” for a loved one, what do you see as the biggest barrier—medical complexity, family disagreement, or lack of clear guidance?
7 Comments
Comments (1-7)
In my experience, one of the biggest barriers is often the lack of clear, compassionate guidance. Families are usually trying to make decisions while overwhelmed, grieving, or reacting to a medical crisis, and many people don’t fully understand what the different levels of care actually mean until they’re suddenly faced with choosing. Family disagreement can grow from that uncertainty as well, especially when people are approaching the situation from different emotional places.
In rural areas, another challenge can be that the available options are simply limited. Families may be forced to consider moving a loved one farther away to access the kind of care or support they want, which adds another layer of stress, grief, and practical difficulty to an already emotional process.
Much have clear guidance and education. Do not be afraid to ask questions!
What you are doing is certainly a labor of love. I was the primary care giver for both my parents from 2013 through 2022. The most important thing I did was help them plan for final expenses. It was the biggest gift that they gave the entire family. When the time came for each of them to pass... everything was taken care of.. and we the family where able to appropriately greave without worrying about who was to do what or how it would be paid for. It was a very difficult discussion to have with my parents as they did not want to talk about it.. but it was well worth the discussions and the results.
Lack of clear guidance and education concerning what is best for their well-being.
I was the caregiver for both of my parents and honest conversations about expectations helped so much. My mom was very realistic about her diagnosis and made decisions based on worst case scenario. My dad was already starting to show signs of dementia from Parkinson's Disease, so my sister and I handled her affairs, but I had the experience with health care decisions, so I handled almost everything. After Mom passed, it was up to us to care for Dad. He was already suffering from the dementia, add in the grief and he was lost. He thought he could still live alone in their home, so we had to bargain with him to try an apartment with supports for a year. If he did ok, he could move back home. He failed miserably. But we had honest conversations the entire year. We didn't let his doctors BS him about his prognosis. Dad was a military man and he could sniff out lies even at his advanced illness. We trusted each other and the team we had assembled to care for our loved ones. Nobody questioned our decisions because we were unified. But that unity took a long time to build and it started years before either of them got sick. Filling out the POA dox and funeral pre-planning started it all, over 20 years before those things were needed.
I help other families now, and I will say that our family is definitely an outlier.
Business population takes advantage of Seniors!
I am responsible for both of mine. Some health scares in the past. So, I can empathize.