How do you work a room without a big personality?

1. Read Diane Darling's book, "Effective Networking." She's been studying this for years and years.

2. Identify 3 things you'd like to learn at the event and ask people questions about their experience or perspective on that topic.

3. "Target" people in any way that makes sense to you, or delights you. In a large room, I have decided to speak with men wearing unusual ties, women with or without glasses, people standing alone or in groups of two, or joining groups of four so there are five. The point is: it doesn't matter. Talk to people with their nametag on their right (which is the "correct" place for it, op cit Diane Darling).

4. Upon entering, tell the person at the welcome desk that you're not naturally gregarious and you'd be grateful if they'd introduce you to someone they admire, or one of the hosts, or a speaker, or their favorite member. Ask for help.

Hi Andrew, You are getting some great answers to your questions. I want to reinforce that it's never about BIG personality; it's about connecting authentically. It's about balancing give and take. Networking is a two-way street. Something for them and something for you. Be certain of what you want as the outcome of the time you invest in the other person. Do you want to meet up after the event for a coffee? Do you want to exchange business cards so you can set up an appointment for later in the week? If you don't have a target, you will have nothing by which to measure your success at the networking event. You will not want to follow up with everyone you meet but you will want to take advantage of the opportunity to arrange to continue the conversation.

If you're nervous about networking, I would scan the room and find the people who are standing by themselves or don't seem to be talking much. I would then find one person, walk up to them with a big smile and introduce yourself.

More than likely, that person may be on the shy side as well, and they'll be more than thrilled to have someone walk up to them and say hello.

In 2003, when I put technology behind MOMtrepreneurs, my #1 goal was to reduce the anxiety of enterprising and professional women that may keep them from attending a live event. The first event I held I filmed attendees introducing themselves. I took that footage and added it to their profiles online in our website. When the next event came around new women who wanted to attend the event could get to know those who attended previously, and who were going to be there again. This HUGELY reduced the anxiety of the new women because they walked into the room already comfortable with familiar faces and their backstory. I believe that the more we learn about those we wish to meet, whether at an expo or event, the more empowered we are with knowledge, insight and the confidence to maximize meaningful exchanges while having fun!

I'm in alignment with the answers below...it's all about authenticity and alignment with your inner essence. It's also about being so turned on by what you're sharing, teaching, etc that you can hardly contain yourself. It really has nothing to do with personality. If you know who you are at a deep level and show up as your brilliant self, you can't go wrong. And you'll make a huge impact.

It’s all about confident presence. Being intentional and deliberate when you are at an event. Never go in half-cocked. 1) understand your audiences and look appropriate and sharp 2) set your goal for the event. 3) be in a good emotional place 4) connect and engage from a place of service and warmth not ego. 5) make respectful eye contact as LISTE 6) be prepared to offer your service or stay in touch with your contact materials. 7) don’t overvshare. Less is more.

John Marchiony has 4 wonderful tips. I would add a #5. Whenever possible try to get the list of confirmed attendees ahead of time, and research people or businesses that fit well with your value proposition and seek them out. Don't be afraid to tell them you did so. Here were John Marchiony's wonderful first 4 tips!

1. John M - Read Diane Darling's book, "Effective Networking." She's been studying this for years and years.

2. John M - Identify 3 things you'd like to learn at the event and ask people questions about their experience or perspective on that topic.

3. John M - "Target" people in any way that makes sense to you, or delights you. In a large room, I have decided to speak with men wearing unusual ties, women with or without glasses, people standing alone or in groups of two, or joining groups of four so there are five. The point is: it doesn't matter. Talk to people with their nametag on their right (which is the "correct" place for it, op cit Diane Darling).

4. John M - Upon entering, tell the person at the welcome desk that you're not naturally gregarious and you'd be grateful if they'd introduce you to someone they admire, or one of the hosts, or a speaker, or their favorite member. Ask for help.

5. Jen R - Whenever possible try to get the list of confirmed attendees ahead of time, and research people or businesses that fit well with your value proposition and seek them out. Don't be afraid to tell them you did so.

As quiet person, here is what I have learned.

1. "Stop working" the room -- its too much work

2. Be yourself (there is a difference between quiet and shy)

3. Have an intense curiosity about others (ask open-ended questions and find a me-too experience with them)

4. Find a way to serve them

Have a big heart to serve over a big personality to shout.

Step into your power, be authentic and build rapor. Listen first before responding. Ask questions and show you're interested in them and understand them. Keep your focus on them, not being distracted by other conversations around you. If you connect on a deeper level, ask if they would be interested in keeping in touch. Set up a time for coffee later in the week. Connections are relationships. I never put my business card in their face, rather ask to exchange cards after I have built a relationship and it is appropriate. Not everyone is a customer. People first.

One of the most important (and eye-opening) lessons I've learned as a marketing expert is that everybody, regardless of gender, ethnicity, or industry knows, understands and cares about their pains, goals and desires more than anything else. So meet them where they are most comfortable.

Ask questions. When they give you answers, ask more questions. The more they talk, the more comfortable they feel. The more comfortable they feel, the more interesting you become. The more interesting you are, the more comfortable you become because you're no longer thinking about things that don't matter. When you allow others to talk, you build trust much faster.

Provide value. Everybody has an aversion to having things taken away from them (so don't pitch or sell yourself). Instead, focus on providing insights into areas of expertise that will add to their success. Every great entrepreneur is a tremendous problem solver. If you can do this without expecting anything in return, you'll be way ahead of everyone else.

Don't think. Just do. Not having a big personality is a strength. Networking is a listening activity. It takes practice, but at the end of the day, nobody will ever say, "OMG, you're listening to me way too much! Can you not?"