If you and your spouse decided to get a divorce, who is the FIRST professional you would go to for advice/support?

Why did you leave out Mediator?  While a mediator cannot actually give advice - being a neutral - they certainly can set the tone for fairness and mitigate the conflict at the outset. A good mediator will ensure that a divorcing couple is equally empowered and knowledgeable on the law impacting their case, when entering mediation and insist that the parties seek advising/ consulting counsel in many cases, or suggest representing counsel, as the case may be. However -  please let us be clear Real Estate Agents cannot give divorce law advice, nor should a banker or financial advisor, and nor a doctor! Though all those professionals can be brought into the process for information needed, professionals opinions and provide help in the assessments that need to be made.

I would first go to a lawyer to discuss the issues and options.  Many lawyers are able to provider referrals to various other professionals whos input and/or advice will be important in the course of resolving the marital estate, and that have familiarity with the divorce process.  These include accountants, financial planners, and therapists.

Although I am a family law attorney, I would recommend seeing a therapist first, especially if you have minor children.  The therapist can give you the tools to get through the divorce process with less drama.  This will keep your legal fees down because you and your spouse will be more likely to reach agreements on some or all of the issues.

I'm part of a growing network of professionals who are Divorce Coaches. A Divorce Coach can help you, as an objective thinking partner, make decisions as you contemplate, separate, divorce and when post divorce issues arise. I am a lawyer by training and also a Parent Coordinator. I walk right by the side of my individual and couple clients as they navigate a difficult life journey. I can refer to lawyers, mediators, financial professionals, therapists, as needed. I'm also "right here" to help calm the overwhelm and head off potential misunderstandings that occur through poor communication. I also draft parenting plans and make certain my clients understand the legal decisions they make too. Working with a Divorce Coach may be the most valuable decision you make in your separation and divorce. My goals are yours and I am committed to de-escalation for you and your children. I work in person with clients and remotely all over the U.S. too. www.DearDivorceCoach.com

If you are even considering a divorce I would suggest a consultation with an experienced family law attorney in your county. 

I would want someone that knows the judge and the judge's disposition. I would want someone that had been mainly (over 50%) of their practice in family law - especially regarding the issues that I anticipate in my case. 

It's worth some money to talk to someone confidentially about what you need to think about doing, what to anticipate and what you need to make copies of BEFORE you talk to your spouse about divorce. 

It's amazing how things "disappear" during a divorce. Things like possessions, clothes, jewelry, money, assets, etc. And how suddenly spending habits dramatically change.

Do you research early to get prepared for a huge change in your life. Even if it's all agreed your life will change dramatically.

If your spouse is acting differently, odds are that your spouse has consulted with an attorney. For example, if someone used to travel a lot on the job and suddenly no trips - sounds like a custody battle is going to occur to me! 

About 80% of a divorce process is emotional so it is very important to have support for the feelings you will experience as you go through the process.  This might be a therapist, trusted friend or spiritual support.  Next, I would recommend consulting with an attorney who is trained in Collaborative Law if you can find one in your area.  Most Collaborative attorneys will talk to you about all the options you have for reaching a resolution of the issues in your divorce matter.  Your options include kitchen table negotiation, mediation, Collaborative Process and a more traditional adversarial legal approach.  I practice in a US state where Collaborative attorneys are required to explain the range of options to a potential client.  Attorneys who practice using a traditional approach are not required to explain the range of options.  Gathering information in the early stages is very important so you can determine what type of support is best for your situation.  Unless you have an urgent safety concern, taking time to learn about options can save you time, money and emotional stress in the long run.

That depends on if you have children. If there are minor children involved, seek a therapist. Not to save the marriage but to get advice on how to explain to the children that you are uprooting your children ending their family community as they know it. They can suffer PTSD in this kind of situation. Lack of stability and feelings of abadonment can become challenges for everyone. 

Secondly speak to their school counselor or administration to ask for their help as your family is breaking up.. These domestic changes and the challenges mentioned above can cause BIlly or Sally to "Act out" in a variety of ways. Additionally this is very helpful when the children are split between two homes and/or spend weekends apart from the original family home. 

Third  and of equal importance to the above If you are a person of faith, seek out the head of your pastor or prayer group. They can be very helpful in easing emotional stress and changes. The power of prayer for the individuals and the children can be transformative in a positive way. 

AFTER ALL THE ABOVE, go to an attorney. Oftentimes there will not be an opportunity  after the lawyers get involved to help the children have a soft landing due to your choices. PTSD is real and can manifest in this case. 

Go to an attorney.  A family law specialist who will be able to answer your legal questions regarding what you can expect as far as property division, child custody, child support, spousal support, attorney fees and other costs such as the division of retirement accounts.  That should cost you about an hour or an hour and one half for the attorney's time which is usually billed by the hour.  Your advice will be confidential and should allow you to understand your options when you leave the attorney's office.   You should walk away knowing what the law provides and what you are entitled to as well as your responsibilities so you can make decisions.  Perhaps divorce is not a good option after all.   If you determine that you have no choice about getting divorced then you will have an understanding of what you are entitled to so you can negotiate with your spouse to craft an agreement either with the help of an attorney or a mediator.  Remember mediation works well but only if both parties have the knowledge of the assets and what the costs would be if you were not able to reach agreement.  

My attorney.